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The Magical Age of 30

Do you have a man? Are you married? Do you have any children? These are some questions are women hear throughout their lifetime. As a young woman ages these questions become more frequent and intense. By the time a woman reaches the age 30 it is a standard question. Your parents, aunties, older friends and even strangers may join in the conversation. Age 30 suddenly becomes the magic number where a woman’s romantic life and family life has to be stable and actualized. Why is this the case for women and why is being in a relationship the core to a woman’s worth? This is a question I wonder about time after time and today I want to say something about it.

Have you heard the term, I am waiting on my Boaz? Boaz is a biblical character and for some church folks he is the epitome of a great loving husband. Women are waiting to have a great husband to say the least according to this term. I find it annoying to the say the least. This is annoying because no one should determine the timeline of your life. You determine your timeline. What happens in your life is based on your decisions and whatever happens in life.Why do you have to wait for something to come to you. Live your life sis and you will be in a relationship.

The reason I bring up this term is because many women feel that singleness is something to worry about. Finding a man will solve all the problems you have and waiting on someone to come rescue you will change everything. Relationships takes work. What you see on Instagram with hashtag #couplegoals is a highlight reel. We do not know what is going on with any of the couples you see on social media and the entertainment industry. We should not believe in fairy tales. Disney lied to us. Time after time in society being a single woman is an issue.  Let’s change that narrative.

Another thing that is very bothersome and arises more when a woman reaches the age 30 is starting a family. It seems by society standards, a woman has no value when she is not a mother. Being a mother is a choice. You can decide to become a mother or you can decide to not have a child. It is your choice and you should not be shamed for it. I have heard men say in social media and in real life if a women is over 30 and have no children there is something wrong with thew woman. We see that the worth of women are placed on being a mother with certain individuals.

What we do not realize is that a woman is taught in a whole lifetime being a relationship is the most important thing for a woman and determines her worth. We see as young girls and teenagers we are considered about a big wedding and impressing the boys. Overall this is the quite opposite for men. I can honestly say most men do not think about being someone’s husband for the most part. They date, have sex, enjoy life and keep it moving. They focus on their social life, career, hobbies, sleep, food, and whatever else is important to them. I really think men just live life and just happen to find a mate or relationship. There value is not determined by being a husband or starting a family. It has been like this for the longest. Men just live and thrive.

Society has made it hard for a woman just to live life and take on multiple identities. You can be a mother and a friend. You can be single and thriving. You can be whatever you would like to be. Live life to the fullest. Men have been doing that for the longest. Live out your purpose and do what makes you feel comfortable, healthy, and sane.

Women need to think differently for a change. Take that trip. Have safe sex. Start that business. Your identity is not tied to a man. Stop waiting for Boaz because he not waiting for you, honestly. Boaz is living his life. I think you should too. As a woman who seen the age 30 and then some I can say sis live your life, stop waiting for Boaz, if you do not want a family it’s ok, if you want to be married that’s ok but do not make it a life goal or an accomplishment rather an event in your life. Singleness is not a disease. Being a wife is not an accomplishment. Most men are not thinking about finding their soulmate it just happens. Life is not a Disney film. Relationships won’t solve your problems. Take it one day at a time and breathe being 30 and single  is not end of the world.


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